Life is confusing and hard and the rule book  doesn't really apply to all sistuation  why does every single bible verse have so many interpretations?  I guess if it really was this easy as being able to read one thing and have to do it right.....but I guess that is no free choice  and no real freedom we need both to grow into the person would have us becomeL. Thank The Lord that he loves me enough that I have need able to screw up so many times,  my family is wonderful and if I had gotten everything I prayed for I would not have the wonderfamilt that I have.  I've been read a lot of fan fiction type stuff from Amish fiction and sometimes wonder if we are just movies too far away from the land our good lord gave us.

I pray for knowledg

Yay finally have a tablet

So I'm hoping from here on out my spelling will improve a bit.  I mean my Masters has to do good for something right?  I'm not really sure how much I'm going to promote my sight but at least it is a place to me to write down the good and bad of things.  So many people online see the best things In A persons life and we forget that life really is messy and hard!

Spiritual

Do you ever wonder really is my husband  reading what I wrote. I'm going to guess that mine doesn't. I do love sappy things about .  One of the thingy heart and soul is leaning for is a strong hand in our famies spirituality. I've wanted him to be a sting guide for our family. I really feel like I need a guide and how I wish it was my guy who wanted to lead our family. But how many times or prayers will lead someone to God?  I'm scared and feal spiritually alone and yes it makes me cry. I was a partners who loves got not just tollieates. 

No help in site.  I have started more ainle bible study but I WANT my husband to take this path with me for our kids. 

Lost